More answers: disability

 Elizabeth in Cornwall asked, "With your 'truck', do you find that people are less or more helpful nowadays? And what about accessibility in general?" 

I love my truck!  Most people call them mobility scooters but that sounds so dreary that mine is my trundle truck.

I'm on truck number three.  They last about six years before their reliability becomes doubtful.  I replace the batteries after about three years.  My "Rascal" was paid for largely by a grant from a charity for decrepit Anglican clergy and I was very grateful as scooters are nearly £2000 each time I need one.  I have a car with a ramp so together the TT and I can go places.  

It's a freedom which I really value.  Maybe you can walk anywhere you want.  Maybe you don't have to plan your activities as a disabled person living in an able-bodied world.  I don't want much help and I value my independence and TT means I can do so much more.

I'd like to be able to do even more.  I'd like to travel by rail but Network Rail allows only very small scooters.  They are more accommodating for wheelchairs.  Most public transport is the same which means that only accompanied people can use it and I usually travel alone.  

I use a Blue Badge, not because I need to park very close to stores etc, but because I need to open my car dor fully.  Occasionally I hear people sounding off about this privilege but I have been known to tell someone, "Yes I agree it's very unfair.  I would give you my disabiity if I could but I can't so I am very sorry."

For the most part people are very good about offering assistance.  In shops they will offer to get things from high shelves.  Friends and strangers alike will carry hot drinks or trays for me in cafes.  Doors will be opened so I can ride through. 

My biggest problem can be fending off inappropriate help.  People grab hold of me without asking what sort of help I need.  I find that annoying and, to be honest, disrespectful.  We don't grab people without their permission except in an emergency and I resent being treated as an inevitable emergency.  If you grab my right arm when I am walking you run the risk of both of us tripping as you will be depriving me of the ability to control my stick and it will become a trip hazard.  If you ask me if I need help I will explain what I need or I will thank you for the offer if I decline it.  "No thank you" is a reasonable response so please don't assume you know my needs better than I do.  

Questions and answers

 I'm going to take a few posts to answer questions starting with one from Jackie.

How did you and Jack meet?

When I was working, my vicarage had a coal fire in the sitting room and Jack had a side-line as a chimney sweep.  That's how we met originally but, as I am sure you realise, nothing is straightforward with Jack.

As he was leaving the first time he told me he always gave a present to his customers.  The first time it was a tin of shoe polish but  subsequent gifts included Winnie -the-Pooh sticking plasters, rum flavoured bubble bath and a bunch of carrots with a knife to scrape them.

Soon after that first visit I went to see an elderly gentlman whose wife had just died and there was a familiar face in the corner.  The funeral was for Jack's mum.

Jack continued as my chimney sweep for as long as I lived in that house but one day I came home and found him waiting to talk to me.  His daughter wanted to get married in the same church in which Jack and Mrs Jack had been married.  I explained the procedure and we shared a cuppa before he left.

As he was leaving he said, "Your garden looks a mess!" so I said, "If you think it looks a mess you do something about it."  And he's been looking after me ever since.  

I conducted the wedding of both his daughter and his son, and the funerals of both his parents and his brother.  Sadly Mrs Jack died during the first lockdown and I wasn't allowed to take her funeral but I did write something for another minister to read.

Bereavement is always hard but it was especially hard during lockdown when the usual sources of support weren't avaiable so I tool to phoning him each morning and we still talk most mornings.

I still make lists for him.  But then again, I still make bacon butties and leek soup for him.  So he shouldn't complain,

But he will.  Even though I gave him a hat labelled "Horticultural Enhancer".

Shamed!

Several people have emailed to ask if I am OK.  Thank you for your concern.  I'm fine.  I'm sure you will be glad that you haven't shamed me.

Jack has been nagging at me.  But that didn't shame me even though he tried very hard..  

The person who has REALLY shamed me is Sue in Suffolk.

Last year she too started an alphabet of blogging.  She finished within the thirty days of November.  Mine started in September and is still not finished over thirteen months later.

She's started at A again today.  So I think the time may have come to get back blogging and answer the questions you kindly left for me.  I really ought to finish my first alphabet before she finishes her second!

See you tomorrow.  

From Jack and Millie

 Hello Everyone,

I thought it was about time I did a post again.    I hope you are all keeping in the best of health and free from all ailments. 

 As you know, the vicar and I don’t agree about everything!  For example, she rang me one morning: we talk every day except Sundays of course as she has other important things to do instead of spending half an hour chatting to yours truly.  This particular morning she interrupted me drying the dishes.  It turns out that the vicar lets hers dry naturally.  I don’t know if she is astute or lazy – you’ll have to make your own mind up on that one.  When I stand at my kitchen sink, I am looking at the main road and I can watch the traffic and the people walking past and some days that’s all I will see.  

When you’ve lived with someone 53 years (my wife died three years ago) and you lose that someone, life becomes very lonely at times.  Thanks to the vicar, I kept my little Shi Tzu, Millie for company.  Millie used to go to my daughter when I went to help people.  Mary, thank goodness, told me Millie would be a big help to me, so I kept her and she’s always by my side. 

 

One thing Mary disapproves of is my cooking.  The first time I tried to make custard to have with my banana, it turned out like scrambled egg.  I was brought up not to waste food so that night I had bananas and custard on toast.

Another night I did myself four of those long German sausages.  I forget what they are called but I told the vicar I’d eaten four Wurlitzers with mustard and onions.  She nearly burst her sides laughing as she explained that a Wurlitzer is one of those huge organs which used to rise up through the cinema floor. 

 

My life wouldn’t be the same if I hadn’t met the vicar all those years ago – there I go being nice again.  She’ll say I’m just buttering her up to make sure the bacon butties and leek soup are always served.  Last time I went she sent me home with three home-made Christmas puddings.

 

I haven’t been so much this year as all the building work was happening in the early part of the year so the garden was a bit out of hand (like the householder!) but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and the garden is coming along nicely.  Mary’s having guests this week so I’ll make sure the back garden is in tip-top order.  She calls that her garden.  I was given the front garden.  That one is very wet and takes a lot of managing but I don’t mind.  She keeps me fed and watered all the time.  One good thing is that there is no longer a list waiting for me.  I think that this being nice to her may have got me into a hole I can’t dig myself out of. 

I hope the Brits among you enjoy the summer (if we get one) and everyone everywhere can make the best of every day.  No-one knows what’s around the corner.  Take care of your neighbours and yourselves.

 

Jack and Millie-the-dog

Millie's mark 
(with love)

Hiccup

 This isn't about the break I have had from my blog - although I apologise.

It's about a short break I had just a few miles from home.

An acquaintance was worrying about her dogs as she couldn't get a sitter while she had a short break, so I volunteered.  She's now a friend!

It was sheer delight to stay in her lovely home.  Didn't I have a wonderful view every time I opened the front door?  All that stood between me and these trees was a ha-ha.  

And Hiccup?  She's the border terror shown here with her younger sister, Holly.  

A glorious break for me.  And my new friend was able to enjoy her holiday in Florence. 

Q is for questions

It's also for "Quite hopeful that you have some for me!"  This post is the first of two, I hope.  The second will be Q2 later in the week.  

(Marcia, yours will be on the R post.)

P is for Post Pandemic

 For a long time I was writing about adjusting to lockdowns or coping with entering everyday life again.  I am very aware that for many the effects of covid are still all too present but I'm writing about me and my life.  So far I haven't caught the virus, but I have been affected by it.  

For me the beginning of the end of the pandemic was 11th February 2021, the day I had my first vaccination.  As I was leaving the vaccination centre I remarked to one of the stewards that it felt more like a party than a health appointment.  "Everybody says that" was her reply.

Two years in, this is "the new normal" but like all normals it will evolve as I change and society changes.  Personally I sailed through lockdowns and sorted out a lot in terms of reprioritising, decluttering, reorganising and so on.  

So, what's changed?  I think I have sorted my life out quite a bit.  That's not just decluttering stuff, it's working out more of what I really want to do.  I went for lunch this week with a friend I hadn't seen for nearly four years and I want to keep that friendship going but there are other things I have ditched.  My Trefoil Guild has folded and I have decided that I want to go to the daytime Women's Institute only.  I learnt quite a few computer skills, including Zoom and Facetime, and those are still a big part of my life.  I have done more sewing and knitting but less paper craft.  

I think the biggest change though is that I have developed a new reslience.  I have more confidence in my ability to face the future with equanimity.  

(my "Q" post will be about questions.  I may be asking you some, but are there any you would like to ask me?  I don't guarantee I will answer but I'll do my best!)

O is for Older Than I Was

 I'm 71 so there is no denying that I am older than I was.  But no matter how old you are, you are older than you were.

There are things which I can't do now which I could do when I was sixty one, but I don't want to get to eighty one regretting that I didn't celebrate the the things I could do when I was seventy one but can do no longer.  I still drive, have days out, manage my finances, very occasionally wear heeled shoes, dance around the kitchen, and terrorise people when I am on my trundle truck.  One day some or all of those things will no longer be possible but they are fun as long as they last.    

There are things which are even better as I get older.  I have more time to make things, to linger over a coffee in the garden, to experiment with recipes.  I am happier to say"no" to things I don't want to do, I can savour the things I do want to do.  and I have lots of time each day to sit and relax knowing God is with me.