K is for Kettle and Knitting

There is something deeply comforting about putting the kettle on.  It’s the answer to so many of life’s problems, especially when autumn starts to take hold.   I’ve never been a more-tea-vicar as I don’t drink tea, but a hot drink often hits the spot.

As soon as friends arrive, they are offered a cuppa.  I offer tea (builders variety) green tea (preferred by Jack), coffee (my first choice), decaff coffee (that’s mostly for Annie-The-Home-Enhancer aka the cleaner), fruit tea (I don’t drink coffee after about 3pm) or even instant soup.  There’s something very basic to friendship about offering some sort of hot drink. 

If I’m bored, I’ll have a hot drink.  If I’m upset, I’ll have a hot drink.  If I’m cold, I’ll have a hot drink.  Even when I have my regular zooms with various friends most of us make a cuppa before settling down in front of the screen.

scarves

Then I settle down and take pleasure in drinking it.  And often I’ll pick up my knitting.  I’m getting quite a stack of scarves ready to go to The Salvation Army to be given to homeless people.  There’s even one there commissioned by Santa for a little girl of my acquaintance (I’m a supply elf for when the regulars have a panic on). There’s real pleasure in knitting: the cosy chair, the wool, the clickety-click of needles and the satisfying feeling that I am making something useful.

Retirement is rather good for both kettle and knitting. There is no need to rush. You can make a cup of tea, sit down, pick up the needles and spend a perfectly respectable morning doing very little.

Sometimes the knitting goes wrong.  (I am so "good" at knitting that I can make mistakes on a plain scarf.  But there's no rush.  I can put the kettle on.  A cuppa is the answer to everything.  

Exit August

 

Phew, what a scorcher!  Our hottest day here was 13th August at 35C, well short of the 40C I recorded on 19th July 2022 but the heat has been much more prolonged this year.  Most of the cereal harvest was harvested in July, weeks ahead of the usual time.  And it has been much too hot to sit in the garden except in the evenings.  

But I have managed to do a few things.  I had planned days out at nature reserves and National Trust properties but couldn't risk the heat.  The best thing has been restarting swimming - we had to stop when oil prices meant the pool couldn't be heated and somehow we hadn't restarted but we have now - I've swum four times during August.

I've bought a new Trundle Truck.  This is a folding jobby which I will be able to take on some public transport, including trains.  I'm keeping the old one too as that is more robust and better suited to nipping around Caistor.

I've met with friends for coffee or lunch on eight occasions.  I'm definitely a lady wot lunches!

I went to a barbecue to celebrate the marriage of D & S.  I babysat D's brothers the night he was born over thirty eight years ago.  He was very ill and needed urgent surgery as soon as he was born so this was an occasion of real joy.

And I am again in demand to lead worship each Sunday.  It's the third time I have covered when this particular group has been without a regular vicar and I really queried if they wouldn't prefer a different priest rather than an old crock like me.  They are lovely: someone comes to help me carry my gear from the car and they put several chairs in strategic places so I can sit down when I want to.  In several churches they put a table so that I don't need to go up and down steps to the usual altar.  Preaching still brings me deep joy and I thank God for the care, appreciation and generosity of these lovely congregations.

Update on jigsaws

As I mentioned last month, Normanby Church will be having a jigsaw display as part of the West Lindsey Open Churches Weekend.  And jigsaws are being completed at an amazing rate.

A friend and I hard at work

Last month we had a jigsaw afternoon in a local village hall and about twenty people joined together to complete various puzzles.  It was a real success as quite a few people who live alone (and feel lonely) came along and had three hours puzzling and chatting.  So often older people (me included) can feel a little useless, but everyone knew they had made a valued contribution to a fundraiser for a much-loved village church as well as having a lovely afternoon being fed tea and cakes.  

People have also taken jigsaws home to complete.  I'm dog sitting this week and there's a puzzle which has been left half-done on the dining room table as well as the one I brought with me.

An unusually shaped jigsaw

I was very doubtful about having a jigsaw display as part of the festival as it seemed a very laborious way of raising a little money but I have to admit that it is very successful as a social activity.

The jigsaws will be displayed in the church on the boards we have done them on and most will be available for sale.  

Alzheimer's disease

When I went to the COWs lunch yesterday I sat next to a lady who has Alzheimer's disease.  She is a wonderful woman: she has been a headteacher and a magistrate but that dreadful disease is robbing her of her dignity.    Another friend fetches her from home and we sit either side of her, making sure H doesn't wander off or purloin the cutlery.   The other ladies are glad she can still come but are also glad that someone else will sit next to her and take care of her.

Today I am going out to lunch with another friend who also has Alzheimer's.  J isn't as far advanced with the disease as is H but the conversation may become a little bizarre.

I have other friends whom I would like to visit but I just send cards or letters or make phone calls.  I wish I could do more, but the bottom line is that the person's for whose health I have most responsibility, is me.  

Please don't think I spend all my life as a ministering angel, but I have also been a carer myself for someone with dementia and I remember the gratitude and relief I felt when someone else visited and gave me a little time for myself.  It's just that two such meetings occurred on consecutive days and they have left me thinking.  I know my friend is slipping away and I want us to make the most of each other for as long as we can.  

I have to admit there is quite a bit of selfishness in this: I hope that if the time comes when I am housebound, others will remember and care about me.  

Jigsaws

 

At the moment the Monday Mermaids are beached.  We are not keen on swimming when it is too cold.

One of our members had the bright idea of having a Jigsaw Display in Normanby  Church as part of the West Lindsey Open Churches Festival in May.  And the even brighter idea of The Mermaids assembling jigsaws on the Mondays we aren't swimming.  

But, from her point of view, her best idea was to go on an eleven week cruise around the coast of South America and leave the jigsaws to the remaining Mermaids.  Yes, that would be my friend E who has gone AWOL.  

So we've collected a few extra people and we gather each Monday.  

Opinions may be expressed when she gets back.  

The joy of offering food

 

There is something deeply satisfying about cooking for someone else.  OK, maybe you do that three meals a day every day, but normally I just cook for me.  I've written about how I make sure I eat well when I eat alone, but my rare opportunities to cook for others are very special.  

G (Holly Dog's human) and I both enjoy roast lamb so sometimes I invite her to come for Sunday lunch.  I buy small pieces of lamb loin which we have with a variety of veggies.  G brings a bottle of wine and we have a glorious meal together.  G hates cooking so I know these mini feasts are a joy for her too.  

I am going to a huge family meal on Wednesday when about fifteen of us will sit down together and it will be a joyful, noisy occasion.

But there is something very special about cooking for someone else.  

And having leftovers next day!

Friendship

 

Friendship has been on my mind this week.  I hope I can be (and have) a friend like this.

Losing a friend

I've known J since both of us were children.  My parents were friends of her parents.  She's seven years older than me (a big gap when we were children, not so much now) but we both have fond memories of childhood.  

We saw little of each other for about thirty years but when we made contact again we were able to pick up the threads and laugh about our memories.  For years we have met for lunch two or three times a year.  Last year I was a little uneasy: something was wrong.

Earlier this year she had the devastating news that she has Alzheimer's disease.  She's having treatment to slow the advance of the disease but it is incurable.  She's aware that her memory is slipping and she realises that sometimes she may behave strangely but she's OK with being "managed".  Her husband was unhappy at the idea of her driving to a meeting point (we live about forty miles apart) so I decided to go to her and take her to a pub near her village.  We've done that three times this year and it is still a thoroughly enjoyable lunch we share.

Yesterday we were chatting about old friends and members of our extended families.  She asked after my sister G and I had to remind her gently that she came to G's funeral fifteen years ago.  It was painful for both of us but after a few moments sadness our conversation carried on.

We arranged to meet again early in the New Year.  I don't want to leave it long.  I know my friend is slipping away and I want us to make the most of each other for as long as we can.  

Zoom!

 I really got into zoom meet-ups during lock down.  I really found it weird but five years on, I find it great.  I can chat “face to face” with people I’ve known for ever but no longer live nearby.  Today I’ve got a chat with S in Leicester.

We used to meet twice a year for lunch and we still do, but we can zoom every month and it is brilliant.  We talk about her grandchildren, my wandering, her photography, my crafting, and culinary experiments (always exciting) from both of us

S and I have a friendship which is like a personal time capsule.  I babysat her older boys while she went to hospital for the birth of the third.  She got excited with me when I was ordained.  We both have memories of wearing some pretty dodgy outfits, even though we thought we were the bee’s knees when we wore them!  “Remember when” is a favourite phrase.

We both look respectable on zoom but we each know that the other is probably sitting in the midst of chaos and we don’t care.  The top half of the outfit may be smart but we won’t even mention what we might be wearing below the waist.

That’s real friendship magic—being known fully and loved anyway.

What happened?

 

A visitor on Tuesday had brought me some flowers so I arranged them.  I have never claimed that flower arranging is one of my talents.  

I had a leisurely time doing puzzles.

Then I had a call from a friend who was very sad so I suggested she put the kettle on and I went to her.  

I had a couple of hours there just listening and came home in need of a snooze.

And somehow I just couldn't relax so I made soup.  A lot of soup.  

I remembered I had two hours of half price electricity so I did the laundry.

Then one friend rang.  And another called.  Then another rang.

So my day of quiet chilling didn't work out quite as planned.  But I am grateful to all my friends.  I felt loved, needed, appreciated. 

And guess what?  There's nothing in my diary today.  I can choose how to spend each and every minute.  😉

5th July 2014

 

That was the date I started this blog.

I'd been reading other people's blogs for some time before I decided to take the plunge.  Many of my favourite blogs from those days have disappeared - Frugal Queen (I watch her videos on YouTube now), Mama's Mercantile, Baroness Prudent Spending, $12 a day to name a few.  I think the blog I have been reading longest is Tracing Rainbows, where the incredible Ang writes a post EVERY day!

I've met a few bloggers: Ang as mentioned above, Elizabeth from Small Moments, Flis from An Englishwoman and her Dog, and several others who are no longer blogging.  I've had correspondence both email and snail mail with bloggers all over the world.

I've never done a post every day except sometimes in December.  My lowest annual post count was 38 and my highest 149.  I've shared my hopes and dreams, my friendships and my struggles with disability, my delight in little things and my musings about life in general.  

So now I'll start my twelfth year of blogging.  If I can think of things to write about.  

The delights of April

 

April went undercover as far as this blog is concerned.

I did courses on "MacBeth" and "Dr Faustus".  And my usual monthly sessions on drawing and journalling.  

I led a gloriously noisy service at Easter.  And several other not quite as noisy services throughout the month

I celebrated a friend's birthday with lunch at a local pub and very nice it was too.  

I had my Trundle Truck serviced so I will be able to go places this summer.  

I went swimming with The Monday Mermaids three times.  

I did some doggy day care.

Jack and I made a start on decluttering the garage.  Just a start.

That was March

 

The great thing about March is that we have finished with February!  There are more sunny days, less bitter cold, more looking forward, less moping.

My month started with eight days with the lovely Holly-Dog.  (I have been mis-spelling her name.  Sorry, Holly).  She made me very welcome and has invited me for a few days in May.  

I've had quite a few meals out.  Some time ago I made the decision to reduce the number of times I eat out and so make going out much more of a treat.  This month I have had lunch out thrice and brunch once, as well as a couple of meets for coffee.  

I've been swimming three times.  I'm in a group of five who call ourselves Monday Mermaids.  We are all "ladies of a certain age" and we hire a small private pool for an hour.  It's great.

Jack has been twice and made a start on the garden for this year.  He also came with a friend for afternoon tea and with his son for coffee.  Many years ago I conducted the weddings of both his son and his daughter and it's a real pleasure when I see either of them.  

I've been leading a lot of worship as one (non stipendiary) priest has been away on a cruise and another (stipendiary) has been in hospital.  

G is for Guests

It is such a joy to prepare a meal for friends!  When I was working I prepared many meals for friends and parishioners but these days almost every meal I cook is just for me.

Today my dear friend Bonnie came for lunch.  I found the first few sweet peas and arranged them in a pretty vase for the table.  I made some creamy mayonnaise and on the strength of that made coleslaw and a tangy potato salad.  That veggie box contained some lovely peppers which were splashed with olive oil and roasted.  Boiled eggs are always a treat for me so they came out too.  There was a mixed green salad, tomatoes, and soused cucumber.  And to top it all a salmon fillet each.  For pudding we had home made mango ice cream, freshly churned by me this morning.  

All food is best garnished with a large helping of love and laughter and we had both in plenty.

Ah, it is good to cook for guests!

F is for friends

 

Really it should be that a Gold Star is for friends.  I've collected them all my life.  Here are a few.

First S.  Her parents were friends of my parents and we started school together.  These days our friendship is mostly conducted by Christmas letters and the occasional e mail but last year I had the privilege of conducting her mum's funeral.  That wonderful lady used to hide several of is when we bunked off from cross country at school!   S and I spent a hilarious afternoon remembering each other's mothers.

A little later I met A.  She had spent her early years in Northern Ireland and the family moved here during The Troubles.  Again we knew each other's family and a few years ago I went to her mum's ninetieth birthday party - once again a hilarious time of reminiscing.

I got E from a jumble sale!   I was behind a stall at a sale to raise funds for Girl Guides.  E was quite a tough haggler at such events so we got talking.  I mentioned that I was hoping to set up a new Guide Company and she offered to help.  Nearly fifty years later she is living in France but we email regularly and still see each other once a year.

M also came along to help at Guides.  We were in the same church and she had a young daughter who wanted to join Guides.  Several years later I conducted the daughter's wedding.  M is now very house bound but we phone each other weekly and I think both if us have smiles on our faces for quite a while after the call has ended.

J came as my chimney sweep.  When he had done the job he told me that he always gave his clients a gift before he left.  That year it was shoe polish.  In subsequent years he gave me rum flavoured bubble bath, Winnie the Pooh sticking plasters and a bunch of carrots with a knife to scrape them.  Just in case you haven't realised J is Jack - you can find out more about him if you click on "Jack" in the sidebar. 

I could go on about friends I have met through Church, about my neighbours and about people I met casually but wanted to know better.  All of them are precious to me.  Here's a round I learnt in Guides many years ago

Make new friends, but keep the old

One is silver and the other gold.

Thanksgiving

 A Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers!  We don't celebrate Thanksgiving here but it sounds a lovely festival.  I hope you all have a lovely day.

Or should that be I hope y'all have an awesome day?  (I do my best.)

It started with Clap For Carers

 My neighbours would all go out to our front gales at eight o'clock on a Thursday evening and clap or otherwise make a noise in appreciation of all front line workers during the early stages of the pandemic.  That went on for several weeks and I got to know more of my neighbours and I got to know them better.

We enjoyed this new neighbourliness and even when the clapping stopped we contined to go out at 8pm each Thursday and that continued throughout last summer.

Then summer moved into autumn with its dark, cold evenings and we decided to meet at 11am instead and that still happens most weeks today.  This Neighbourhood Nattering lasts about half an hour but it's really brought the little community on this Close together.  One gentleman has died and his wife has been supported.  One lady has had surgery and chemotherapy for cancer and she's always being offered lifts.  A couple go away regularly with their caravan but they know that neighbours will keep an eye on the house and put the bins out.  People shopped for me and are now taking me for medical appointments while I cannot drive

So many things about this pandemic have been terrible but I wonder how many communities have been drawn together as this one has.

How is it for me?

 

Thank you for all your good wishes.  I've now been home fr a couple of days.  There was a suggestion that I should come home the day after the op but I resisted very firmly as there would have been no-one here. 

My lovely nephew will be staying until Friday.  I have set up an "SOS family" on Alexa so that she can call for help if I need it.  It's quite a lot cheaper than the usual Lifeline system and I feel it is better as it doesn't rely on me remembering to wear the alarm.  I feel very blessed as there is no shortage of kind friends and family offering to be on my SOS family list.  

I also feel rather lucky that I don't have to wear those horrid surgical stockings!  My legs are in such a mess (from previous accidents and surgery) that I can't tolerate them so I have extra medication to prevent blood clots.  I've also got pain relief to take and that makes the exercises less uncomfortable as well as making sure I can sleep at night.  

Thankfulness

 I'm quite busy at the moment as I prepare to go into hospital for the knee replacement.  And I have so much to be thankful for!  

Today is World Gratitude Day.  And I am so grateful for all the love and care I am receiving right now.  My nephew is coming to spend a week with me which will be quite difficult for him and I am very grateful.

He will have to go into work one day while he is here but the friend I phoned to ask her to come that day not only said "yes" but also. "I'm so pleased that you asked,"

Annie-the-Home-Enhancer has agreed to come more often until I can do more things for myself.  Jack too, will be keeping an eye on me - and I'll bet no-one is surprised at that.

I'm grateful for the skill of the surgeon and the rest of the hospital team and I'm also grateful for our wonderful NHS.

Thank you!

It's good to talk!

Ever since the first lockdown started I've had a monthly zoom with a couple of friends, Sandie and Jan. (Before that we used to meet for pub lunches.)   They are sisters and I can't remember not knowing them.  We are "Coffee Kids", still kids despite our ages ranging from 69 to 77!

Back in 1954 a group of eight women decided to meet each Tuesday and they continued to meet every week for over fifty years.  At first it was a cup of Nescafe, a real treat in those years of post war austerity.  (Anybody else remember those tiny tins of coffee powder? )  They were The Coffee Girls.  It's hard to think of a similar group today as most women go out to work but I suspect that in those days some sort of a meet-up was an important defence against being driven crazy by the endless round of caring for husband and children alone at home.

As well as the weekly Coffee Morning they had days out together, they had parties, when one couple bought a narrow boat they had day trips on the canals.  Those women and their husbands were all Aunties and Uncles to me.  

The last four Coffee Girls in 2002

As years went by inevitably those Aunties and Uncles died.  Around twenty years ago I had a party for the four remaining ladies at that time and as many Coffee Kids as I could trace.  It was good to catch up with everyone.

So, once a month, Sandie, Jan and I, each in our own homes, make a cup of coffee and settle down for a chat to celebrate a friendship of 67 years.  

It's good to talk.