Holidays

Sandcastle building

The essentials were packed.  I had strange swimsuits of shirred elasticated fabric.  They seemed to attract sand and became very scratchy.  That was better than the knitted garments inflicted on some children.  I loved to go to the sea to swim or paddle.  We would collect shells on the beach and search for treasures in rock pools.  

But buckets and spades were also needed.  Castle building was taken quite seriously and besides, those buckets were useful for keeping a small fish for the afternoon.  

Until I was about eight we would stay at bed and breakfast places, preferably farmhouses.  Some places would offer an evening meal or we had sandwiches or fish and chip.  As the family became better off we started to go to hotels.   When I was nine we went to Guernsey which involved my first ever flight.  That was far better than the car and even more exciting than a train!

To the seaside: the journey

Some time during the school break we would go on holiday to the seaside.  It was never referred to as the coast, always the seaside.  I remember holidays in Sidmouth, Swanage, Whitby, Bridlington, Cromer.  When I was about eight we went to Cornwall, a journey so long that we took two days in the car.  

The roads were far less busy those days.  Some friends would go on holiday by train and how I envied them!  That seemed much more exciting than the car.  

My parents also suffered in the car, probably even more than we did.  The cry "Are we nearly there?" would start within minutes and continue all day.  There were, of course, no entertainments other than those we made for ourselves.  "Green grow the rushes, O" anyone?

I couldn't read in the car without feeling sick so that was banned.  We would look out of the windows to find a black cow or a green gate.  Red Lion and White Hart pubs were sought and points awarded.  No prizes, just the honour of winning.

Our family had a small stove which ran on methylated spirits so we would find somewhere to stop and fry sausages to be eaten in buns. This was to remind Father of his days in the Boy Scouts.   They were a real treat.  The sandwiches which Mother used to take sometimes were very boring in comparison and the stove and sausages had to come out at least once every holiday. Very occasionally we would buy food en route.  Here I am wearing one such purchase to the amusement of my Mother and sister. 

Being with Grandma

Summer holidays for me always included a week at my grandparents' farmhouse.  This is an update of a post I wrote in 2015.

My grandparents' farmhouse

I knew my grandparents’ house throughout my childhood until they moved when I was thirteen.  From the outside it looks a gloriously elegant dwelling.

 The interior would not strike anyone as elegant!  One came out of the yard into the back kitchen where there was a big scrubbed pine table in the middle of the room.  That was the main place for food preparation as there was a Calor gas stove for cooking and a big old fashioned Belfast sink.   Water was piped into the house when I was about eight but before that it had to be fetched from the outside scullery.   On that table grandma did her baking, prepared vegetables and once a week churned butter in the old wooden churn.  I loved helping with butter making.  My grandmother had her own unique pattern which she would stamp into each block of butter and I was usually allowed to make one pat myself with a very different pattern on it.  Making butter was physically hard work as water had to be boiled to “scald” the churn and actually standing and turning the churn handle for quite a long time certainly made one’s arms ache.

My grandparents

Above the table there were all sorts of things hanging from the beams but the thing I remember most clearly was the basket used for collecting eggs.  My grandmother had a couple of dozen hens which scratted in the yard.  They were her hens and the egg money, such as it was, was hers too.  She used to rear a few chicks which always included a few cockerels which were for the pot.

Every day the post woman, Mrs Stevenson as I remember, would cycle from the village and was a valued link with the outside world.  The farm had no telephone when I was a child so all communication was by letter.  Mrs Stevenson had to wait a while in case my grandmother wanted to write any urgent replies.  She would have a cuppa and there would be a news swap.

It’s about sixty years since our family gave up that farm and my grandparents were very old fashioned even for the fifties and sixties.  I think I am very privileged to have experienced that lifestyle.  

 

"She hasn't got a family"

 

My nephew on one of his vintage Minneapolis-Moline tractors

I've just had a few days in Worcestershire visiting my nephew.  I decided that it would be too risky for me to stay with him as his house has a lot of stairs and, sadly, my legs continue to deteriorate.  Instead I booked into a hotel and just spent Saturday and Sunday with him.  Saturday he cooked a lovely barbecue and Sunday I took him out to lunch.

Carrie and I over sixty years ago

Today is my cousin Carrie's birthday.  She lives about half a mile from me and two or three times a year I need to phone her for urgent help.  Last month I took her, her brother and another cousin out for lunch as all three of them have birthdays in May or June. 

My Father (centre) with his parents and siblings

Several of my cousins are generous with their help and support.  I'm really grateful for each one of them.  I've heard people say of me "She has no family" but that simply isn't true.  Originally I had twenty nine cousins (my father was one of eight siblings, my mother one of four) of which sixteen remain and I had one sister who left one son (my nephew).

My Mother (left) with one of her brothers and her sister

I value my family.  I work hard to stay in contact and good terms with them.  I send them all Christmas cards although several never respond.  I have no brothers, sisters or children but, when the chips are down, I have family I can rely on.

Thank you, each one of you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to any American readers who have popped in.  Have a lovely day.

We don't have anything like Thanksgiving here but an American lady has married into my (extended) family so we had an early Thanksgiving dinner last night for fourteen of us.  Tonight only four of us would have been able to be there, and she felt that all the family giving thanks was more important than doing it on the right day.  So I feasted on turkey and a whole lot more last night.  I was too podged to eat desert.  Hope you enjy your meal as much!

,, , , with an English slant

 My cousins daughter has been living in Maryland for several years but she recently moved back to the UK and her parents' home.  She put in her request for a Thanksgiving meal.

I was invited.  It would have been ride to refuse.  I am rarely rude!

So we had our turkey (crown) dinner.  But we had it English style.  

And although I know Thanksgiving cards aren't all that common, I made one.  

That is Mary style.  

How is it for me?

 

Thank you for all your good wishes.  I've now been home fr a couple of days.  There was a suggestion that I should come home the day after the op but I resisted very firmly as there would have been no-one here. 

My lovely nephew will be staying until Friday.  I have set up an "SOS family" on Alexa so that she can call for help if I need it.  It's quite a lot cheaper than the usual Lifeline system and I feel it is better as it doesn't rely on me remembering to wear the alarm.  I feel very blessed as there is no shortage of kind friends and family offering to be on my SOS family list.  

I also feel rather lucky that I don't have to wear those horrid surgical stockings!  My legs are in such a mess (from previous accidents and surgery) that I can't tolerate them so I have extra medication to prevent blood clots.  I've also got pain relief to take and that makes the exercises less uncomfortable as well as making sure I can sleep at night.  

Home

 

Home again!  I had surgery Saturday and came home this morning.  All is well.  I am in far less pain than I expected, except at night.  My nephew has come to keep an eye on me.  God's in his heaven, all's right with the world

That was June!

 I keep hearing about extreme hot weather in various parts of the world but Lincolnshire has missed out on the heat - I had the heating on for a brief period this morning as I was so uncomfortable.  

But June has been quite a good month.  We had our annual family picnic at Clumber Part.  Four more people had planned to come but chickened out because the weather forecast was foul.   As it happened the five of us and Zola the dog didn't see any rain.  

My weight loss has continued at about a pound a week so I am happy about that.  I haven't tried to walk much as I await surgery but as yet I don't know when that will be.  

I've been very busy decluttering and have disposed (by various means) of six hundred items since March so the house is losing weight as well!  

The garden is flourishing thanks to You Know Who.  At the moment I'm harvesting just spring onions and salad leaves but soon there will be more.  Yum!!

I've been venturing out a little more and have visited friends as well as going to a few shops.  I had the privilege of taking the funeral of an old schoolfriend's mum.  This lady was wonderful and she used to hide us in her house when we bunked off cross country running all those years ago.    What's more she lived next to the headmistress!  The funeral was my  thank you after all these years.  

I also helped a couple re-affirm their vows after twenty years of marriage.  And at the same time I blessed their baby granddaughter who has a great grandad you may have heard of - Jack!  

Clem(atis)

I didn't save many plants which were already in this garden when I moved in.  The previous occupants had been a young family for whom the football posts had been more important than the flowers.  But near the back door there was a clematis and I'm happy to say that it is still there.

In my garden today

The garden when I was a child had lots of clematis, especially after 7th September 1965.  That was the date of my parents' Silver Wedding Anniversary and many of their friends gave clematis plants "for Clem and his mate".

Enjoying the garden over 65 years ago.

My Father was indeed Clem, so the pun (which had occurred to quite a lot of their friends at the same time) was appropriate.  Daddy erected trellises all over the garden and each year there was an abundance of colour.  

The first bloom the year is now full open.  Each day I am reminded of my lovely Father who played with me so often in the garden.  Thanks, Daddy.

My sister

 One of the most important things I have done during these months of isolation has been to scan all my old photographs.  It wasn't a quick job: apart from my own pictures I had collections which had belonged to my Grandmother, my Mother, and my only sister, Gillian.

I'm nearly nine years younger than Gillian and we were never particularly close.  She went away to college when I was only nine and although she came home for holidays and for her first year of teaching, things were never the same.  She married and had a son.  Sadly she was later divorced and had to make her own independent life again.

Back in 2000 she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was very ill,.  She spent a week on life support, a further week in intensive care and then a week in hospital before coming to stay with me to give her chance to recover.  For the next six months she lived with me part-time while she had chemotherapy but she managed to get better.   As she realised that she might have less years ahead of her than she had hoped, she decided to fulfil a few ambitions.

The first of these was to see whales in their natural habitat!  Our Mother was very generous and paid for me to go with my sister on a cruise from Vancouver up the coast of Alaska as Gillian could not have managed alone. (She was very disabled due to various other conditions.)   We saw whales!  We also had a whale of a time!

Gillian and I aboard Independence of the Seas, 2000

Gillian had cancer twice more.  The first was breast cancer which was caught very early and the problem was resolved by surgery alone.  The second, sadly, was a secondary from the original ovarian cancer and was incurable so I moved in with her for nearly a year to care for her.   It was a year when we were closer than ever we had been in our lives.

Gillian did one very important, but very sad, thing for me.  Because she got ovarian cancer (as did two of my cousins), I had genetic screening.  It was discovered that I have a faulty BRCA2 gene so I had surgery to minimise my cancer risk.  I will never know if cancer would have killed me, but I do know that I have far greater peace of mind than I would otherwise have had.  I am two years older than she was when she died.

Thank you, Big Sister

Adjusting 5

Way back in March when I decided to withdraw into my home for my own safety, I started to keep a diary "Personal thoughts during a pandemic" and I have made entries in that journal ever since.  I'm very "lucky" - I don't have children or grandchildren whom I am desperate to hug (which is what most of my friends are missing most, I think) and my basic income is secure so my worries are minimal.

To be honest I have sailed through lock down and for the most part I have enjoyed it!  I have taken the time to smell the roses and the lavender, to listen intently to the blackbird,  and to savour life.  I've plenty of hobbies and plenty of stash to enjoy those hobbies.  Five years lock down wouldn't exhaust the stash.  Now Jack is back looking after me I have a garden to relax in even though I am missing Annie-The-Home-Enhancer and my house isn't quite as relaxing as it was!

But it isn't plain sailing.  During lock-down I have suffered four bereavements - the two I've blogged about and two other very close friends.  None was covid related but all have been made more difficult because of the current circumstances.   I can't give the families the hugs which I would normally react with.

I've been quite involved in ministry both by being a telephone pastor and in writing pieces for reflection.  I've valued the pastoral ministry of others.  I've joined in Zoom and YouTube worship but I have missed standing next to other Christians to praise God and I have missed leading worship. 

Friends have been kind in shopping for me and Sainsbury's have delivered regularly but I'd like to choose my own fruit and veg and discuss my purchases with my butcher.

One of my slightly unusual "activities"  during lock down has been regular corona virus testing.  You may notice in news bulletins that calculations are made on how the virus is spreading (or not) and that about 11,000 people are being tested regularly to help in the calculations.  Well, I'm one of 'em!  I was invited by The Office for National Statistics.   I have the swab test (which indicates whether I have the virus at the time of testing) very frequently and also have a blood test (which shows if I have antibodies as a result of having had it) occasionally and apart from that I just do whatever I would do anyway under the present regulations.  I would be told if I have the active virus but not if I my antibody test shows that I have had it.  This means that my behaviour is unaffected by the results.  I'm really pleased to help in this way and they also give me a little something for the inconvenience!

Auntie Bettie

I'm having a very sad day today.  I have said my final goodbyes to my Auntie Bettie.  In previous posts I've called her Auntie Hettie as I always change people's names on my blog but now she has died I'll call her Auntie Bettie.  

Bettie and I on her 92nd birthday

Bettie was my mum's little sister.  There was an eight year age difference between them and Bettie spent a lot of her childhood being minded by Mother as Grandma was a very busy farmer's wife.  Bettie was 15 when my parents were married and she was chief bridesmaid.   There was a very special bond between Bettie and my sister who was born when Bettie was 18.  

Bettie was the most wonderful aunt any child could hope for!  She was a primary school teacher and enjoyed being with children but when she was with us she was such fun, taking us on picnics or visits to the seaside or Father Christmas.  She had a skill which I have never known in anyone else - she could touch the end of her nose with her tongue!  This would have us all in fits of laughter and I'll bet some people reading this can no more resist having a go than we could as children.  

She didn't find romance herself until she was thirty six and she married Gordon.  They had two children and her years as a wife and mum were for her the best years.  Sadly the marriage lasted only twenty two years for Gordon died very suddenly when he was in his fifties leaving Bettie with a daughter away at college and a son still in his teens.

That was nearly forty years ago but Bettie has always been a well loved and respected member of the community here in Caistor.  She was active in the British  Legion and the Methodist chapel.  She was a member of the Women's Institute and the (then) Women's Voluntary Service.  It was because of Bettie that I came to live in Caistor - I wanted the opportunity for as wonderful a life as she was living.

Dying in a time of corona virus has meant that she has had very limited visitors and her care has fallen totally on her daughter who has been magnificent.  Today just her son, her daughter and I joined the minister for a very quiet burial, nothing like the huge funeral there would have been in normal times but the streets were lined with people paying their respects.

I have been privileged to be her niece.  

Leaving July behind and entering August

July has been quite a busy month.  The big event of course was the garden party at Lambeth Palace.  I made a skirt which seems to have helped me find my creative mojo again. 

 

New poppy skirt

I’ve lead Sunday worship just once but I have done some midweek services as well as conducting a wedding. That was hectic – the couple had forgotten to tell me that they’d book pipers (bagpipes) and I had to suggest to someone who had decided to sit in the vicar’s stall that she was in my place!   I’ve also been organising three weddings to take in August.  We have a newly ordained deacon here in Caistor so I went to her welcome as well as being in the pews most Sundays. 

I’ve met up with various cousins and friends often for lunch.  I went to a family barbecue and caught up with some relatives whom I see only rarely.

My step count has been very low  Ooops!

August promises to be rather busy.  Three weddings for starters!  I’ve decided to try and complete a few projects craft-wise.  I’ll be posting about those on my other blog. 

More of my family

Four cousins - Hear no evil, see no evil, but no way do we shut up!

The family picnic last month was actually for my father's family.  When I organise it I invite all descendants of my paternal grandparents.  

Everybody smile!

 But of course I had a Mother as well as a Father and we have family get-together for that family too.  I have been involved in organising picnics for them too but in recent years one of my cousins and his wife (Jack and Sarah) have been the main instigators.  They've got four daughters and the baptisms of their five grandchildren have been great occasions for us all.  Two cousins don't live locally and aren't usually involved but the other four surviving cousins are very fond of get-togethers.

Jack and Sarah's daughter has been home from America and, as she and one of her sisters both had a birthday last Friday, we had a family barbecue.  

You can't direct the wind but you can adjust your sails

Sue at  The Cottage at the end of a Lane has been reflecting today on technology, living alone, and the simple life.  (Hope that's a fair summary, Sue, if you're reading!)  She's certainly made me think.

I've lived alone for most of my adult life.  When I was younger I would let out a room which helped with the budget, and I was a carer in my own home for several years, but basically, I live alone and I like it.  

"Alone" is, for me a neutral word,  "Loneliness" is a sad word, and "Solitude" is a happy word and I could use all three to describe different parts of my life.  I spend most of my life alone: a few days I am lonely and long for company when there's no-one around to share with, but most days I enjoy the solitude.  

John Donne wrote, "No man is an island" and neither is this woman.  I have no immediate family but I put a lot of energy into maintaining good relationships with my wider family, some of whom rarely or never reciprocate but that's their choice.  The time they can be guaranteed to remember me is when they need to organise a funeral!!!  Technology is a boon in keeping in contact.  I'm a great letter writer but many people prefer a text, email or phone call.  

The time will come when I will need to rely even more on technology to keep me comfortable and safe.  Personal alarms and sensors, an automatic door for the garage, maybe buying frozen meals if food preparation becomes too hard, and the many new ideas which are being developed may all play their part in my future.  

I'm part of the church.  My vocation in retirement means I'm not a regular member of any congregation but rather lead worship where I'm needed (although at the moment I am participating rather more in worship at my local church) and I think this has nudged me into seeing the church in a much deeper way.

And I have friends.  I'm going out to a local cafe today for lunch with a friend and last week I was at a sea-side picnic to celebrate the birthday of another friend.  I can have a chat on the phone any time and can just get in my car and go visiting. 

Last (for the moment!) and by no means least, I have bloggy friends, some of whom I've met face-to-face, with some I exchange emails and many whose blogs I comment on or who comment on mine.  Thanks for reading.

The Family Picnic

There's not a lot to be said in favour of going to family funerals except that it's a time when families get together.  In ours it's also a time when someone always says, "We really should meet other than at funerals" and then forgets all about it until the next family obsequies.

After my sister's funeral in 2011 I decided to organise an annual family picnic at Clumber Park, a National Trust property in Nottinghamshire.  Organise is maybe too strong a word for what I do - I choose a date, specify where we will go and tell everyone to bring their own food, chairs and anything else they want.  I can't say it's ever well attended but those who come enjoy it.

Last Sunday was "The Day" and six of us met up.  There would have been eight but Clumber was very busy and two managed to get lost in the park.  Three hours non-stop chatter, a lot of sandwiches and quite a bit of lemonade later we all went home but not before someone took this charming photo of yours truly.  I think I would make an excellent standard lamp.  

In the steps of Uncle Palmer

I've written several times about Uncle Palmer, actually my uncle by marriage  and the husband of Great Aunt Nora.  So far as I know he spent all of his ministry in Lincolnshire and I've conducted worship in "his" churches at Thoresway,  and Walesby  Today I went to Cuxwold and I think this may have been his favourite for it is in this churchyard that Palmer and Nora are both buried.

This and Rothwell, the neighbouring village, formed the last benefice he held before retirement.  Cuxwold is a tiny blink-and-you-miss-it village and Rothwell rather larger so the vicarage was at Rothwell.  I remember visiting Rothwell Vicarage as a child and being fed the delicious crystallised fruit that Aunt Nora received each Christmas from a wealthy parishioner.  

The church is tiny, seating maybe fifty or sixty people but it has a spacious sanctuary.  The Book of Common Prayer is still used and the choice of hymns was rather old fashioned but it felt like true country worship.  I hope Uncle Palmer would have approved.  

 Those of you who know about these things will recognise this as a Saxon arch which is the entrance to the tower.  (The lettering is Victorian.)  The site has therefore been in use for worship for at least a thousand years even though most of the church dates only from the latter part of the eleventh century.  

Rather big for Brownies!

Sixty years ago I thought Brownies were wonderful!  I joined 1st Old Brumby Brownies when I was seven and became first a gnome and then an elf.  I was an enthusiastic Brownie until I "flew up" to Guides and eventually I went to Rangers before becoming a leader myself.

There was one thing I didn't like about Brownies though.  I didn't like sewing badges on my tunic.  This wasn't a minor dislike in our household as Mother insisted that all badges had to be unpicked and sewn on again each time my tunic was washed.  Most Brownies' mums in those days did the sewing (and left the badges on when the garment was washed) but as soon as I turned nine I had to do my own.

Move on sixty years and I feel as though I am back in the Brownies again as I have been sewing badges on a Brownie blanket.  They take far more badges these days than we did sixty years ago!  In this case not only couldn't the Brownie do it for herself, her mum didn't feel up to the task either and as she's a busy teacher I was happy to help.

So out came my pins, needles, thread and thimble and here's the result.    It's all too rare an occurrence these days for me to feel I have anything practical to offer so doing this for a lovely little girl was a pleasure.

I was told that I could stitch them on in any order I liked.  Although I enjoyed doing the sewing I'm hoping that's true as I really don't want to have to unpick them and start all over again.  

Beating the January bleughs

There's something about January which makes me low.  Maybe it's because Christmas is over.  Maybe it's because light levels are low.  Whatever it is I know I'm not the only one to find January difficult.  It happens every year and really it's January and February too which is too long a period to feel low.

So I need a bit of January Joy!  Today I found just that.  Sharon, my cousin's wife, had been given a voucher for afternoon tea at a local tearoom and she very kindly invited me and we had afternoon tea at lunch time.  Look what arrived.  We both gasped as it looked a wonderful tea-for-two.  We gasped even more when a second cake stand full arrived - this food is just for one person.  You won't be surprised that we needed a doggy bag and Sharon's grandchildren were in luck.

When I got home I nipped out into the garden and I was greeted by the sight of my first snowdrops!!  Oh aren't they a joy!  And these are just the first of many.  

While I was out there I had a check on the veg patch and the leeks are now lovely and fat.  The joy of leek and potato soup will soon be mine.  

Maybe January 2019 won't be too bad.