This is a post I’ve waited four years to write.
You may know that I went to see The Vicar last Friday. What you don’t know is what went on!
On arriving at The Vicar’s house at 6am I jumped out of my car, looked towards the window and there was a vision of beauty, this epitome of youth with a smile from ear to ear and her hands clasped in front of her as if giving thanks to The Boss. I ran towards the window –no, I can’t go on any longer. I promised to tell the truth so I’ll start again.
On arrival at the house I staggered out of my car and looked towards the window and was surprised to see The Vicar standing there. After all it was 6am, she was in her dressing gown with her hands clasped – that bit was right. I think she was smiling but it could have been wind problems. I sauntered to the window and put both my hands on the pane and asked her to do the same. Something fell out of her hands – it was a list of jobs she wanted me to do and I’d been thinking she had been thanking The Boss that I had turned up! How wrong I was! After four years nothing had changed and I’m so pleased it hadn’t. It was indeed the return of the prodigal. We had hands on glass touching although it would usually be hugs all round.
I made my way to the back garden and what a shock I got. I turned round and went back to my car. The Vicar thought I’d done a runner. I wouldn’t do such a thing.
Now any normal person who was visiting a very dear friend for the first time in four years would bring a bunch of flowers. Well, Jack may be a lot of things but as The Vicar will tell you he’s anything but normal. I rolled up with a bag of potatoes, carrots and a leek, a Solomon’s Seal (plant), a new catch for the gate and a Dyson vacuum cleaner. What else would anyone expect? She wanted to borrow my spare Dyson whilst I checked her’s because it wasn’t working too well. She’s had it twenty five years although it doesn’t get used much. Don’t tell her when I get it working better that all I did was empty the dust bag. She’ll think I’m a genius so don’t mention the dust bag.
Back to the garden or maybe I should call it the jungle – I’m sure I saw a tiger in there. Actually it was the ginger moggy from next door. I knew this was going to be a very tiring day for us both. The Vicar gets very tired watching me. I would never let my friend down. She’s done so much for all my family.
After many cups of tea and three hours work you could at last see where the garden was. Another hour was spent digging it all. I put in six trailing tomato plants in tubs. Next came snapdragons and mesembryanthemums. I made a fence panel safe, put the new latch on the gate, and planted the Solomon’s Seal in my part of the garden. I tidied the back garden and made the patio area presentable so she could admire the view and enjoy the garden.
We kept our distance from each other. I made full use of that because I said things and pulled her leg knowing she couldn’t clout me. I forgot to mention that with all the tea I knew I would consume there could be a problem but we sorted it between us with the help of a bucket and the garage! She also brought out a bowl, soap and a towel so everyone was happy.
It got round to dinner time. Now I’m always wary of meals at The Vicar’s. Over the years I’ve had some funny stuff served up to me but I must confess that The Vicar or Mary as you all know she really is, had worked hard. She’d made carrot, parsnip and sweet potato soup followed by sandwiches made home cooked ham on home-made bread. She also sent me home with a home-made loaf of bread,
When I got home I did three loads of washing and cooked some ham as well. I put in some seeds which Mary had given me.
I would like to thank you all for your kind words about Mrs Jack and about me as well. Your comments make my day extra special, I’ll blog again soon.
Remember, aspire to inspire before you expire
All my best wishes to you all. Jack X X