A couple of years ago someone said I was turning into a hermit, possibly because I had declined an invitation to a very noisy family lunch. And that made me a little defensive so I now record my contacts and make sure that I maintain an interest in the outside world.
I use my phone and make voice calls but these days FaceTime is often how I keep contact. I don't write as many letters as I used to but I email and send e cards. I use zoom a lot: I was in a group chat on zoom last night and have a one-to-one with a friend this morning. I find this to be great.
But the solitary life isn't easy for everyone. I phone several people who really don't like alone-ness and experience it as loneliness. I feel deeply for those who are widowed and who remember days when "alone" meant being with their husband/wife and who find really being alone to be hard.
There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. One benefit of technology is the ability to have a real time conversation whilst we are on our own at home. I do not think anyone should accuse YOU of being a hermit!
ReplyDeleteMe neither - I like my solitude but I also enjoy my friends.
DeleteBlogging is a way of being in light contact with others. I rhink I've always been more solitary than social.
ReplyDeleteBlogging is a unique way of being on contact with others and I really enjoy it.
DeleteThe problem with being widowed is that there is no option
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. And I find it odd when people describe being with their spouse as being alone. Widows know a dreadful kind of loneliness
DeleteI do live with my hubby, but I would thrive as well on my own, I love my own space and have enough hobbies to keep me active, living near our village centre and a lovely park helps as well.
ReplyDeleteI never felt so much loneliness as I have after my husband died. When an entire weekend goes by with no plans at all and not by choice with other people, it dawns on me that this is life forever and I did not choose it.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you, Sam. One may spend a lot of time alone but it's not the same as permanent aloneness. I feel most alone when I have been to something I really enjoy (or something which has made me laugh) and there is no-one to share it. That must be even harder in widowhood. {{{{Hugs}}}}
DeleteMy mother was widowed at 56 when my father died suddenly at home, and she never wanted to have another live in partner. She did once say to me that she would have liked a man friend “to take the bare look off her arm”. She explained that she missed some to share outings and discussions and social events with even though she went back to work and also did volunteering. Loneliness is a huge problem for all ages hence Campaign to end Loneliness. Catriona
ReplyDeleteI understand exactly what she meant about the bare look of her arm.
DeleteI lived alone for 11 years while my daughter was away and I was fine with it. But, now that she's back home, I like knowing there is someone around. :)
ReplyDeleteYou always sound like a happy woman, Bless
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