Birds

I think I rather underestimated how much my cold knocked me back.  I am having real difficulty in getting back to a reasonable active lifestyle.  The steps are even more babyish than I had thought they would be.

I am managing a little though.  On Monday I went to Brigg, mainly to replenish the supplies of bird food.  There seems be to very little interest in the poppy seed hearts, Niger seeds or mixed seeds which I put out but the local birds can't get enough of the mealyworms and fat with insects in it.  This sort of cheep food isn't cheap food by any means but I'm having such entertainment that I'll pay.  The winds last week meant that mealyworms blew from the table but I melted some waste fat from the kitchen and mixed the worms with that and they then stayed on the table until fetched by the birds.

The Ancholme at Brigg

Brigg was lovely as always.  It's a trundle truck users dream.  Everyone gets free parking for two hours in Brigg but there is no limit for Blue Badge holders.  Once parked I can get the TT out of the car and trundle to my heart's content as the whole shopping area is fully pedestrianised and there is a path down by the river which means I can soon be out of the town and watching birds in the countryside and on the water.

Stixwould signal box and the canal beyond

Yesterday I went to talk to my spiritual counsellor.  Henry sees his clients in a converted signalbox at an old railway station near a canal.  It's a lovely comfortable room but one of the best things about it is that the bird watching is great.  It's rather nice to be able to break off from the conversation when something interesting is happening outside.  Yesterday there were egrets visible from the signal box and I watched a moorhen who I think was prospecting for somewhere to build her nest.

I'm no twitcher but there is something very special about seeing nature going about her business.

Desiderata

Max Ehrman's prose poem "Desiderata" was very popular when I was in my teens and twenties and at one time I could have recited it by heart.  I can't do that any more but some lines continue to haunt me (in the nicest possible way).

I was thinking yesterday about the line "Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself" as it seems to be my theme for the moment: finding the balance between the discipline necessary for a healthy life and yet seeking joy as a quality to be cultivated as my life unfolds.

The early part of my life, (and indeed the early part of most people's lives), was spent pursuing a career, being a carer, working a lot of things out for myself.  My days of pursuing a career are over and my responsibility to be a carer has been discharged but I doubt the need to work things out for myself will ever come to an end. 

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this post but being stuck indoors for nearly three weeks has made me rather introspective so I'm sharing this lovely poem with you

Desiderata - words for life

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain and bitter;

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.

Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

March mollycoddling

February wasn't good.  In fact February was dreadful.  February was one of those months when breathing properly seemed like a distant memory.  It was a month of misery and lethargy.  End of moan.  Start of positive thinking. 

View from my window.  Friends top up the feeders

It's the last day of the month today and while it looks very pretty outside, I won't be venturing through the front door.  I am however truly blessed.  Before 9 o'clock two people had phoned to ask if I needed anything.  So to all you kind people who keep an eye on neighbours anywhere, thank you.  The recipients of your kindness will appreciate it.  

But I don't want to become dependent on others more than I have to So I have to look after myself in March, recover from these three weeks of weakness and get back on my feet.  In fact I'm going to mollycoddle me.  My other blog is going to be about doing quite a bit of sorting but this one is about being gentle with me. I've got a few treats in mind but I also want to look after me in the course of my everyday life.

Anybody else up for it? 

Kindness

It was a mistake!  Never again!  Never again will I call a post February Fitness.

February was OK for a few days and then it was downhill.  I'm fairly sure that it is "only" a cold but it has knocked me for six.  I can't remember one like it.   When I'm feeling ill I don't like other people so I've spent a week in bed.   Ten days into the cold I still feel really ill.

And that's when I rely on the kindness of others.  I'm never able to drink coffee when I'm ill so I've needed a constant stream of orange juice but my dear friend Claire has kept me supplied.  She also offered bed changing and laundry but I have a big enough supply of bed-linen.  

I live alone.  I am disabled.  I am getting older.  I have frequent need of the kindness of others.  And I am rarely disappointed.

February Fitness

Anybody who knows me personally may greet a post about fitness with a delicately raised eyebrow as not only am I not an athlete, I'm not even the person you would ask to fire a starting pistol.  I've never been sporty - but I still need to maintain the level of fitness which I have.

That level is pretty low.  I used to have a dog but can no longer walk a dog so Fido hasn't been replaced.  These days I can manage about a hundred yards on a good day, some days a few painful yards from the car to the house are about as much as I can manage.

But I don't want to give up on myself.  I work on the "Use it or lose it" principle for the abilities I still have.  A few years ago I bought a FitBit One, a handy device to measure steps walked, steps climbed and one or two other fancy bits.  I wear mine very discretely (clipped to my knickers if you really want to know) and I wear it all the time.  I keep a record of how many steps I walk around the house and garden and anywhere else I feel safe walking.  For most people the sort of staggering around I do would not count as "steps" but I am me.

In January 2016 my average steps each day was just 950.  January 2018 I averaged 1650.  One day I managed 3700 but the next day I was in a lot of pain,  For most people my average would be woefully inadequate but for me the fact that I can move more now than I did two years ago is really important.  

Friendly February

I'm a great fan of happiness - I hope that doesn't surprise you!

I don't think happiness just happens (!) but I think it's usually a by-product of something else.  I think we need to seek happiness and cultivate it.

I don't think that happiness can be found on-line, but there are on line "helps".  One of these is Action For Happiness.  I've been using the site on-and-off for quite a while.  They promote ten key areas for cultivating happiness, including things like doing kind things for others, taking care of your body - all things which may provoke the reaction, "Well, duh!" but I sometimes need to be reminded.

I've just discovered that each month they produce a calendar - this month is Friendly February - and each day they make one simple suggestion to help happiness along.  (I've put links to help you find the site and the calendar should you feel inspired.  I tried to put the calendar in this post but Blogger wasn't happy.)  They have promised Mindful March, Active April and so on.

Today's action is Send someone a message to say how much they mean to you.  Well, this is my message.

Thank you for reading my blog and thank you especially if you leave comments.  Thank you for your own blogs and the inspiration they give me.  Thank you to the lovely bloggers I've met in real life and those with whom I have e mail or snail mail contact.  And although I doubt whether he'll read this, Thank you Tim Berners Lee, inventor of the World Wide Web, who made possible this wonderful method of meeting other people.

A New Month

I feel in need of a new month.  January seemed endless.  I don't know why I wasn't expecting that.  Most years I have commented about the bleughness of January on my blog.

But it was not a month of nothing

I went to Normanby and enjoyed the sunshine.

I took two funerals and spoke at a third.  I officiated only once on a Sunday.  

I did a lot of visiting of elderly people (even older than me!).

No crafting to speak of has been done apart from a little knitting. 

I have sorted a new car.

I’ve made a fair start on sorting the garage.

But it's not been a particularly great month.

But February is a whole new month and I've decided it will be a month for me.  Crafting, cooking, pampering, days out - they're all possible.   

Bring it on!

Disability and being awesome

I've been thinking quite a lot about disability these last few days.  I'm "mobility challenged".  I can walk short distances but for more than a few yards I use a mobility scooter.  

This means that I need a car which has a ramp on the back so I can carry my scooter with me wherever I go.  My car (which was damaged in an accident at the end of November) has to be replaced.   As you might expect, suitable adapted cars are more expensive than standard models and they are more difficult to find.  (I don't qualify for Motability.)

Normally when one's car is judged to be beyond economic repair it is collected very quickly by the insurer but as my car is still driveable, although bashed, my insurers have given my three weeks extra to find a new car.  The law requires them to take account of my condition and make a "reasonable adjustment" to their procedures to allow me time to do the extra searching a travelling I have to do to find the car.

So far I have been to see two cars, one near Leicester (ninety miles away) and one near Manchester (115 miles away).   I had each inspected by the RAC but because the car has been modified they have refused to do the basic check which is all I require.  Instead I have to pay an extra £90 for a fuller inspection even though they don't check the modifications.  

So I've decided to argue that to allow disabled people to have just a basic check (at £99) even though the car has been modified would be a reasonable adjustment as the law requires. 

This small battle will be my first attempt at being awesome in 2018.