Adjusting 5

Way back in March when I decided to withdraw into my home for my own safety, I started to keep a diary "Personal thoughts during a pandemic" and I have made entries in that journal ever since.  I'm very "lucky" - I don't have children or grandchildren whom I am desperate to hug (which is what most of my friends are missing most, I think) and my basic income is secure so my worries are minimal.

To be honest I have sailed through lock down and for the most part I have enjoyed it!  I have taken the time to smell the roses and the lavender, to listen intently to the blackbird,  and to savour life.  I've plenty of hobbies and plenty of stash to enjoy those hobbies.  Five years lock down wouldn't exhaust the stash.  Now Jack is back looking after me I have a garden to relax in even though I am missing Annie-The-Home-Enhancer and my house isn't quite as relaxing as it was!

But it isn't plain sailing.  During lock-down I have suffered four bereavements - the two I've blogged about and two other very close friends.  None was covid related but all have been made more difficult because of the current circumstances.   I can't give the families the hugs which I would normally react with.

I've been quite involved in ministry both by being a telephone pastor and in writing pieces for reflection.  I've valued the pastoral ministry of others.  I've joined in Zoom and YouTube worship but I have missed standing next to other Christians to praise God and I have missed leading worship. 

Friends have been kind in shopping for me and Sainsbury's have delivered regularly but I'd like to choose my own fruit and veg and discuss my purchases with my butcher.

One of my slightly unusual "activities"  during lock down has been regular corona virus testing.  You may notice in news bulletins that calculations are made on how the virus is spreading (or not) and that about 11,000 people are being tested regularly to help in the calculations.  Well, I'm one of 'em!  I was invited by The Office for National Statistics.   I have the swab test (which indicates whether I have the virus at the time of testing) very frequently and also have a blood test (which shows if I have antibodies as a result of having had it) occasionally and apart from that I just do whatever I would do anyway under the present regulations.  I would be told if I have the active virus but not if I my antibody test shows that I have had it.  This means that my behaviour is unaffected by the results.  I'm really pleased to help in this way and they also give me a little something for the inconvenience!

Auntie Bettie

I'm having a very sad day today.  I have said my final goodbyes to my Auntie Bettie.  In previous posts I've called her Auntie Hettie as I always change people's names on my blog but now she has died I'll call her Auntie Bettie.  

Bettie and I on her 92nd birthday

Bettie was my mum's little sister.  There was an eight year age difference between them and Bettie spent a lot of her childhood being minded by Mother as Grandma was a very busy farmer's wife.  Bettie was 15 when my parents were married and she was chief bridesmaid.   There was a very special bond between Bettie and my sister who was born when Bettie was 18.  

Bettie was the most wonderful aunt any child could hope for!  She was a primary school teacher and enjoyed being with children but when she was with us she was such fun, taking us on picnics or visits to the seaside or Father Christmas.  She had a skill which I have never known in anyone else - she could touch the end of her nose with her tongue!  This would have us all in fits of laughter and I'll bet some people reading this can no more resist having a go than we could as children.  

She didn't find romance herself until she was thirty six and she married Gordon.  They had two children and her years as a wife and mum were for her the best years.  Sadly the marriage lasted only twenty two years for Gordon died very suddenly when he was in his fifties leaving Bettie with a daughter away at college and a son still in his teens.

That was nearly forty years ago but Bettie has always been a well loved and respected member of the community here in Caistor.  She was active in the British  Legion and the Methodist chapel.  She was a member of the Women's Institute and the (then) Women's Voluntary Service.  It was because of Bettie that I came to live in Caistor - I wanted the opportunity for as wonderful a life as she was living.

Dying in a time of corona virus has meant that she has had very limited visitors and her care has fallen totally on her daughter who has been magnificent.  Today just her son, her daughter and I joined the minister for a very quiet burial, nothing like the huge funeral there would have been in normal times but the streets were lined with people paying their respects.

I have been privileged to be her niece.  

A couple of smiles for a rainy day

Jack asked me to pass this on to you. 

The value of old age
Remember old folk are worth a fortune. They’ve got silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys and gas in their stomachs.
I have become a little older since I spoke to you last. Changes have come into my life. I am a frivolous old girl and I’m seeing five gentlemen each day. As soon as I wake, Will Power helps me out of bed. Then I go and visit Lou, then next I go to Mr Quaker who gives me my oats.
They leave and Arthur Ritus shows up and he stays all day but he doesn’t stay in one place very long. He takes me from joint to joint and after such a busy life I am ready for bed with Johnny Walker – what a life! Oh, ad I’m flirting with Al Zymer.
The vicar came the other day and said, At your age shouldn’t you be thinking of the hereafter?” I told, “Oh but I do! No matter where I am, in the lounge, in the kitchen or in a shop, I ask myself ‘Now, what am I here-after?’”




Do you Remember Welly Dog?  ?  He was desperate to join the Fire Brigade.

I have been out a little on my trundle truck and I went past our Fire Station.  It seems he has achieved his ambition and become a fire fighter.  Go, Welly Dog!  

Jack's Back!

Hi everyone, it's me again.  Hope you're all keeping safe and well.

First I must tell you a funny thing which happened to someone we all know.  I won't mention any names because I don't like embarrassing anyone but this person is  a very good friend to me (and I hope she still will be when I've told you this story) and oh, she's also a retired Vicar.  Just lately we've had some very warm weather and it's been very hot at night.  Well one night this person decided to open her bedroom window before she went to bed to let some cool air in.    After leaving the window wide open she went back to the sitting room.  After ten minutes she was startled to see a cat walk into the room.  The air turned blue and so did the language.  I've waited years for the Vicar to swear and I missed it!  But she told me word for word what had happened so yes, I did hear her swear.  I thought it was funny, and Thank You, Lord, for making her so human.  Since then the big window has stayed shut. 

While I'm on the subject of windows, on my last visit I was asked to clean the front windows as the last time they were cleaned was when I did it three and a half years ago.  I felt so sorry for The Vicar she drew the curtains and the track fell down but at least she could see out of the window now.  I haven't been going into people's houses because of Covid 19 but she has a cousin who has PPE so he got suited and booted and fixed the track.  Thank you, Cousin C!

What a nice surprise I got last Sunday - a roast beef Sunday dinner followed by jam roly-poly, all from a local restaurant!  Someone put my name forward so I got a free dinner.  I was nominated because of the care and compassion I showed looking after Mrs Jack for the last two years but I did that out of love. I fell in love with her the first time I met her and I stayed that way for the next 53 years.  It was our fifty second wedding anniversary last Monday. The person who put my name forward is a nurse on the front line taking care of people so N , please stay safe – we don’t want you to be poorly.  We couldn’t manage without you.  Thank you for thinking of me.

I'm not coping so well at the moment but the Vicar and I ring each other every morning.  Much to her delight she's caught me in the bath, on the loo and in a few other interesting places. 

The Vicar likes to know what I'm having for my meals.  The other day I had salad and I didn't have any coleslaw.  She told me to make my own and told me the recipe.  I hadn't got some of the ingredients so I did Jack's way.  I cut a crinkly cabbage into small chunks, grated a couple of carrots, diced a raw onion and (here it comes) I chucked it all into a bowl.  I hadn't got any mayonnaise so instead I used salad cream and two sachets of tomato sauce which Mr Wetherspoon had donated and my was it good!   It went on King Prawns, corned beef, lettuce, more raw onion, beetroot, peppers and celery.  I put Rice Crispies on top just to make it look good.  Hope your mouths are watering.  If any of you come for one of my meals make sure you bring the Gaviscon with you.  I'm taking bookings for Christmas.  What will that turn out like?

Other news.  I'm getting the Vicar's garden into some sort of order.  Just so you all know what a kind person she s, she's offered to sew the hem on my trousers up as that's a skill I haven't acquired yet.

The Vicar is having a rough time this year.  First my brother died then Mrs Jack and last Saturday the Vicar's auntie died and another of her friend's is none too good.  I hope I can help with her problems by being Jack, the man who likes to make people smile and be happy.  That gives me great joy.

Please be careful and look after yourselves.

PS  Margaret.  My friend lives at Fielding, North Island

Note from The Vicar.  When Jack came he brought me these lovely roses.  He went home with a rather more conventional coleslaw, some braised red cabbage, and a loaf of bread. 

And newly hemmed trousers.

Friendship

This is a post I’ve waited four years to write. 

You may know that I went to see The Vicar last Friday.  What you don’t know is what went on!

On arriving at The Vicar’s house at 6am I jumped out of my car, looked towards the window and there was a vision of beauty, this epitome of youth with a smile from ear to ear and her hands clasped in front of her as if giving thanks to The Boss.  I ran towards the window –no, I can’t go on any longer.  I promised to tell the truth so I’ll start again.

On arrival at the house I staggered out of my car and looked towards the window and was surprised to see The Vicar standing there.  After all it was 6am, she was in her dressing gown with her hands clasped – that bit was right.  I think she was smiling but it could have been wind problems.  I sauntered to the window and put both my hands on the pane and asked her to do the same.  Something fell out of her hands – it was a list of jobs she wanted me to do and I’d been thinking she had been thanking The Boss that I had turned up!  How wrong I was!  After four years nothing had changed and I’m so pleased it hadn’t.  It was indeed the return of the prodigal.  We had hands on glass touching although it would usually be hugs all round.

I made my way to the back garden and what a shock I got.  I turned round and went back to my car.  The Vicar thought I’d done a runner. I wouldn’t do such a thing.

Now any normal person who was visiting a very dear friend for the first time in four years would bring a bunch of flowers.  Well, Jack may be a lot of things but as The Vicar will tell you he’s anything but normal.  I rolled up with a bag of potatoes, carrots and a leek, a Solomon’s Seal (plant), a new catch for the gate and a Dyson vacuum cleaner.  What else would anyone expect?  She wanted to borrow my spare Dyson whilst I checked her’s because it wasn’t working too well.  She’s had it twenty five years although it doesn’t get used much.  Don’t tell her when I get it working better that all I did was empty the dust bag.   She’ll think I’m a genius so don’t mention the dust bag.

Back to the garden or maybe I should call it the jungle – I’m sure I saw a tiger in there.  Actually it was the ginger moggy from next door.  I knew this was going to be a very tiring day for us both.  The Vicar gets very tired watching me.  I would never let my friend down.  She’s done so much for all my family.

After many cups of tea and three hours work you could at last see where the garden was.  Another hour was spent digging it all.  I put in six trailing tomato plants in tubs.  Next came snapdragons and mesembryanthemums.  I made a fence panel safe, put the new latch on the gate, and planted the Solomon’s Seal in my part of the garden.  I tidied the back garden and made the patio area presentable so she could admire the view and enjoy the garden.

We kept our distance from each other.  I made full use of that because I said things and pulled her leg knowing she couldn’t clout me.  I forgot to mention that with all the tea I knew I would consume there could be a problem but we sorted it between us with the help of a bucket and the garage!  She also brought out a bowl, soap and a towel so everyone was happy.

It got round to dinner time.  Now I’m always wary of meals at The Vicar’s.  Over the years I’ve had some funny stuff served up to me but I must confess that The Vicar or Mary as you all know she really is, had worked hard.  She’d made carrot, parsnip and sweet potato soup followed by sandwiches made home cooked ham on home-made bread.  She also sent me home with a home-made loaf of bread,

When I got home I did three loads of washing and cooked some ham as well.  I put in some seeds which Mary had given me.

I would like to thank you all for your kind words about Mrs Jack and about me as well.  Your comments make my day extra special, I’ll blog again soon.

Remember, aspire to inspire before you expire

All my best wishes to you all. Jack X X

“To those who gave so much, we thank you.”

I've just been to stand for two minutes outside my house and remember all who "did their bit" to make for Victory in Europe in 1945.  This afternoon I shall go outside again and join with my neighbours for  a stay-at-home tea party at 3pm.  This road and the next (which is also a cul de sac) have each come to a consensus that we will celebrate quietly but publically with scones, jam and cream (everyone brings their own) and a cup of tea or glass of fizz.  I've never been to a celebration like it and I'm rather looking forward to it.

Here's a few local homes.  Sorry the photos are even worse than usual!

Lots of houses have bunting

This flower is a thank you for the NHS

All I could find was a bag of poppies but I've done my bit!

Assessing April

First of all I know I am very "lucky".  I'm putting lucky in inverted commas because part of my "luck" is that I have no family to worry about.  I live alone and whilst I have cousins and a  nephew I know that it's much more difficult for people who can't get their usual hugs from children or grandchildren in other households.  I miss my regular hugs too though!

Being isolated is not so different from my everyday life. I have long had about four days a week when I have no face to face conversation so I know how to manage that.  My income is more assured than many - I'm not able to earn much extra money now but my pensions are fairly safe.  But quite apart from that I have found some sources of joy.

Each week I have been out to clap for carers as do most of my neighbours.   We live on a quiet cul-de-sac so we all go out into the road and it's also the weekly chat. 

I've been gently busy at home.  My main project during lock down has been scanning and sorting photographs.  I want to get photobooks printed of the stuff I judge to be worthwhile.  I've set aside various packs of photos for other people, especially cousins, if the pictures are relevant to them but the vast majority have gone in the bin after scanning.  Many weren't even worth scanning.

I have bought plug plants and brought them on ready to plant in my garden.  It also means that Jack has even more to moan about!  He likes that!

I was sad and disappointed not to take the funeral of Jack's lovely wife but we will sort something which will happen later.  I've also been sad at another death where I would have taken the funeral and at the impending death of someone else.  The awkwardness of final illnesses and bereavement at the moment has caused extra anguish for many

I've been improving my digital skills and have been having video calls every evening with my cousin's wife.  I find that comforting as someone would know if something has gone wrong.  I also make quite a few calls each week to other people who may be alone and/or struggling.

I've been inspired and amazed by Captain Tom!

And I've enjoyed reading blogs.  Thanks!

I am in disgrace and it's lovely!

It's been the sort of day that I dread and yet dream of.  It's the day that Jack came to sort out the garden.  (In case you are worried we maintained correct distancing and he didn't come in the house.)

I had warned him that it was dire. But he seemed not to have taken my warnings on board.

Here's how it was.  

And here's how it looks now.

He's threatened promised to come back.  He's also threatened promised to write a blog post.

Before he tells you what a disgrace I am I will say that I was ready when he arrived at 6am, that I kept him well supplied with cups of tea, that I gave him home made soup and also sandwiches made of home made bread and home cooked ham.  And there were no hooks.

And he went home with a loaf of home made bread

He