The last time I went to our local chemist's with a prescription the assistant persisted in calling me Twinkle. Eventually I called her Petal which caused amusement among the other older people in the shop but the assistant was none too pleased.
According to The Guardian yesterday, this is "benevolent ageism". The speaker means well but is unwittingly patronising when s/he uses "elderspeak".
It's not always easy. In some places calling a stranger Love is elderspeak but around here you can be Love at any age. Disability also brings verbal discrimination and people with disabilities often find themselves being treated like children.
There is no malice intended and usually the speaker is trying to be kind and show him/herself willing to help and "make allowances".
But I still don't like it. How about you?
I don’t like it either. I’m not your “love” or “dear” and I wish I had the courage for a terse response instead of an inward cringe. No hugging for me either!
ReplyDeleteMargaret from New Zealand
It feels like disrespect, doesn't it.
DeleteIn Leicestershire I got used to the ubiquitous "me duck", but loathed being called "sweetie" by one lady. I like the chapel habit of saying " brother" or "sister" to one another. I have been known to say in my best schoolteacher voice, to shop assistants " I am not your darling"
ReplyDeleteI'd forgotten me duck!
DeleteI would not like to be called twinkle, love or my dear. A friend from Plymouth calls people, flower and DIL's Mum calls people duck. My husband's cousin has just married, she is a special constable and her surname is now Love, think she will keep her maiden name for work purposes!
ReplyDeleteSounds like that would be a good idea!
DeleteI've been called, "honey" a few times, usually by other older ladies, but, I don't mind it. I remember being called, "love" by a saleswoman when I was visiting England and I was pleasantly surprised. :)
ReplyDeleteHoney isn't used so much here. I did once retaliate when someone called e sweetheart by calling her honeybunch.
DeleteI don't like it either, duck really gets me going.
ReplyDeleteI suspect that the acceptability of duck is regionally based.
DeleteI don't mind love, duck, bab (very common where I grew up in the Midlands) or even the Scottish hen, as all are used regardless of age and I have been addressed by all of them in my time. Calling anyone twinkle is just plain weird and I would definitely have a problem with that.
ReplyDeleteI doubt if the chemist's assistant will call me that again
DeleteIt’s ageism and you were right to make your displeasure felt! Catriona
ReplyDeleteThank you. I know people of all ages face unwelcome familiarity but I feel it really was ageism.
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