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16 August 2025

Plan B is (temporarily) Plan A

 


I know this will sound weird to most people, but I found conducting funerals to be one of the most satisfying things I did as a vicar.  Making an awful day a less less awful and giving comfort to someone at a very dark time is a privilege.

I don't take many funerals these days.  I find leading a coffin over ancient churchyards (which are always very uneven underfoot) to be difficult.  I'm not the regular pastor for any village these days and if the regular person is available s/he will take the funeral.  I am truly Plan B.

But sometimes I am asked for by name.  I can only take a funeral with the permission of the regular vicar (or rural dean) but it would be very unusual for anyone to say no - they've got more than enough to do anyway!  For the second time this year that has happened and I feel privileged that I am someone's Plan A.

J died very suddenly a couple of weeks ago and the coroner has been involved so the funeral can't take place for another couple of weeks.  As you know I am retired so I have more time to give care than most clergy would have.  I've visited her husband twice and had several phone calls and will have a lot more contact before (and after) the funeral.  After all, this is personal and professional contact.  

And J is in my prayers.  Her husband is comforted a little by that.  

9 comments:

  1. I think that it is wonderful that you are someone's Plan A. I think it is due to your caring nature and people feel that caring and the personal interest you take in them. May J rest in peace and may her family be comforted during this difficult period in their lives.

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  2. To be so closely involved with a grieving family is a privilege of pastoral ministry which must be accepted with grace and compassion. I know you will bring support and comfort, love and peace over coming days. And you will speak the appropriate words at the service. God bless you - all of you in my prayers at this time.🙏
    Our Pastor is on holiday, and the person due to preach tomorrow has had to travel for a family crisis. So Bob has stepped up to do the service. He was due to do next week. Another member is now doing that one. Its like a game of musical pulpit round here!

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    1. Oh yes! Musical pulpits is often the name of the game!

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  3. I know a retired vicar who is in exactly the same position. It is always a comfort to see her leading a funeral service as you know that she knew the person and is speaking from the heart.

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    1. And she probably considers it to be an honour to be asked, just like I do.

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    2. She does. She has told me so.

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  4. How lovely to be plan A. What an honour to be asked.

    God bless.

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