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Monday, 23 May 2016

Friday and Sunday. The alternative version


I just had to fill you all in with my version about my friend.

 On Friday I met her at the garden centre.  As I was pulling into the car park there was someone on a trundle truck.  She was going that fast her hair was stuck straight out at the back of her.  I looked again and realised that it was the crazy vicar.  Those trucks go about 8mph as I was soon to find out.  We started to look for plants but I couldn’t keep up with the vicar’s truck.  I lost her many times. Once she was talking to someone she knew.  I thought, “What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander” so I started chatting to a lady who was 84 years old.  I was telling her about some plants she had in her trolley.  She was very grateful that I was giving her some tips on the plants.  All of a sudden the trundle truck appeared from nowhere.  The lady was quite amused at the banter between me and the vicar.  Once again the vicar’s Boss must have been very happy as the lady went off with a big grin on her face.  We got two trolley loads of plants and two grow-bags for the tomatoes. We both enjoyed that hour immensely. 

Back at her house plans were made over a pot of tea.  I think when my time has come to meet The Boss he’ll be standing ready with a pot of tea and some plans for me.  I dug the garden over after pulling up the pansies.  I put loads of flowers in – and oh yes, broad beans go mixed into the flower beds.  I put veg plants in the raised beds, 3 tomatoes in one grow-bag and I planted a cucumber. 

It got to 1.30 and dinner was ready.  I’m always a bit wary of meals at the vicar’s.  She was at it again today.  We had thin bangers, new potatoes, mixed veg and bacon.  She did warn me the bacon was well done!  It was jet black, frazzled and rather crispy.  She was good enough to offer me dinner so I ate my bacon, smiled and told her there are a lot of black pigs about nowadays.  I think that put her mind at ease. 

While we were at the garden centre we had looked for a water feature to replace the one she’s got but we didn’t buy one.  Her’s has a very large and heavy stone which has to be carefully lowered over the fountain. Bless the vicar – she says I shouldn’t be lifting it now I am getting on in years.  She’s such a thoughtful person.  See, Vicar, I’ve said something nice about you for a change.  Anyway, while she was on her swing watching me she had a brainwave – leave the stone to one side and just have the fountain going.  It worked very well – really all she wants is the sound of the water splashing on the stones.  Great – no more lifting heavy stones for yours truly. 

It was now 3.30pm so it was time I was off.  I had my own raised beds to plant up – I have six.  My back garden is small but I have a big circular patio with a few stone figures including a garden gnome and a dog with its bum in the air.  All in all there’s plenty going on.   

When you read this I will have been to see the vicar working at her real job.  She’s always watching me work so it’s time the tables were turned.


I went to see her doing her job and I have to admit she’s pretty good at it. 

On arrival at Melton Ross church I was welcomed most kindly by a lady who let me look round the ornate paintings on the ceiling which were similar to the Mosta dome in Malta.  I was truly amazed. 

Although the congregation was small we made up for that when we sang the hymns.  I am not a regular church-goer but I enjoyed the words the vicar was speaking.  After the service was over we all had a cup of tea and biscuits. 

I felt sorry for one brave elderly gentleman.  His house had been broken into and his son had just died.  The vicar was consoling him and giving words of comfort.  Don’t give up, Sir, The Boss will see you through. 

I won’t leave it as long before I speak to The Boss again.  Maybe he could arrange for me to have less hooks and black bacon.


  1. Jack is certainly a great man with a wonderful sense of humour. You are obviously great friends, it certainly comes across. Take care.