But the surprising thing is that it is all OK. I didn't feel guilty, I just didn't do much! I didn't worry about it, I didn't let it get me down. I just listened to familiar audiobooks and did my knitting and enjoyed meals I had previously batch cooked.
I think that my hibernaculum project has "given me permission" to be like this. I don't need to judge myself. I have time to love myself. I can tell myself "This too shall pass" but I don't need to speed it on its way.
I don't know why I wrote about the lack of oomph in the past tense: today is another knitting and audiobook time. Hope you too are having a contented day.
I didn't expect to find Self among her "words of winter" but there it is. At first I just skimmed past it but I found I had to go back, re-read and think.
Dr Fitzgerald suggests that winter is the season of the self. She calls us to consider self-love, self-compassion, self-connection. It's a time for us to give ourselves permission to focus on ourselves and to permit ourselves to be authentic. We can get caught up in the busy-ness of life but the slower rhythms of winter give us the opportunity (as I mentioned yesterday) of making sure our bodies and souls are in harmony.
The Japanese even have the concept of yutori education, with more integrated study time and less curriculum content. The aim is to balance intellectual, moral, and physical education.
Trygghet is a Swedish word and it's about a feeling of safety and security, especially when the weather outside is "challenging". Coming in from weather like that it's lovely to give a deep sigh and relax. Yesterday was a miserable rainy day here and I was so glad to shut the front door and settle in front of my (electric with flame effect) fire.
But I've been reading "The Gifts of Winter" by Stephanie Fitzgerald. So far I have found this to be the most helpful book for me. And she has introduced me to a new word - confelicity. Isn't it a lovely word!
And it's a lovely concept. It describes the joy we can feel at someone else's happiness.
I've noticed several people trying to reframe winter for themselves, rather like my hibernaculum project. Sue from Suffolk wrote about a local hibernaculum and Sam wrote her winter thoughts. In my quiet, rather pensive days, I have found joy in their explorations too.
Deliberately seeking joy in someone else's happiness is a delightful thing to do so I shall cultivate confelicity.
That's what Alexa told me when I wished her Good Morning today.
A A Milne was born on this day in 1882. He was already an established writer for "Punch" and as a playwright when a teddy bear appeared in poetry from the early 1920's. The bear's name didn't appear until 1925 and was the used in the "Winnie the Pooh" collection of stories published in 1926. Winnie was named after the female black bear called Winnipeg who lived in London Zoo.
I was brought up on the two Pooh Bear collections ("Winnie the Pooh" and "The House at Pooh Corner") with the charming illustrations by E H Shepard which I still prefer to the rather garish Disney jobbies. These days I still enjoy Alan Bennet's slightly lugubrious readings as an audiobook. I think my favourite story is "In Which Tigger Comes to the Forest and Has Breakfast" which Alexa often reads to me at bedtime. Not that I am a big kid, though!
I'm doing a low spend January and trying to eat some of the stuff squirrelled away in my freezer and cupboards, but today I felt I had to get some bits and pieces.
While I was in Lidl I got one of their Waste Not! boxes. For as long as I can remember these boxes have been £1.50 but they've recently gone up to £2. Two Whole Pounds. Anyway, I bought one and this is what I got.
That's a bag of
potatoes
One avocado,
Net of
satsumas.
Three leeks
One cauliflower
One bag of carrots
Two different
varieties of tomatoes
Bunch bananas.
Update. I have costed this at around £12 for full price vegetables.
Several years ago I bought the tree in the sitting room as a Christmas decoration but it got left out so I decided it could be a seasonal tree with (I hope) something different each month. In August it was bees. September I moved on to squirrels, pumpkins and hedgehogs. They were a bit late up so they stayed for October too but in November I went for a Scottish theme of thistles in honour of St Andrew's Day. December I didn't show you but it was just baubles as part of the general Christmas decorations.
But in my stocking I got some little hats to hang on my Christmas tree. I thought they would be just the job for January.
Anyway, one of the ways they are wonderful is that all houses are inspected regularly so they can plan maintenance and improvements. Personally I think my house is fantastic anyway: occasionally I have minor niggles but when I complain everything gets sorted.
But yesterday was The Inspection. It happens about every five years. I don't have to do anything other than make sure the surveyor can access everywhere he wants to access. And I make him a cup of tea. And feel slightly embarrassed as Annie-the-home-enhancer hasn't been since before Christmas.
For me one of the joys of getting older has been that the world actually feels less critical – or maybe I no longer care so much! Even when my house is inspected I can’t get terribly worried about it.
I started my hibernaculum project on my birthday, back in October, and plan to finish on Easter Sunday. That's a total of 165 days. Today is the halfway point and seems like a good time for a review.
First things first. Why did I start this project? What do I want from it? Well it seemed to me that I have spent the last few years wishing several months of each year would get out of the way so I could enjoy the summer. I wouldn't say I have seasonal affective disorder, but I definitely get the winter blues. I decided I had to change my expectations of winter. I didn't want to dread it, feeling that I wanted it over. I wanted to make it a good time, maybe as good as summer, but in a different way.
I'm not alone in feeling this way. Since I started to make an effort to think differently about winter I have found quite a lot of books and newspaper articles on how to winter. The main thrust seems to be to get out into nature, enjoy time with friends, and be cosy at home. Getting out is a bit tricky as I increase my pain levels if I get cold but I do my best. I make sure I have meet-ups with friends at least once a week in person and I use video calling a lot. I have definitely made my home much cosier with a new fire and lots of LED candles (which I have kept out even though I have put the Christmas stuff away) as well as throws for when I am sitting down.
But it was the discovery of the word "hibernaculum" which has had the most unexpected effect. It has helped with my mindset and made this into a very positive period. I'm not using it in its usual modern sense of a place where animals hibernate (humans can't hibernate) but rather its original sense of winter quarters for soldiers. It was where they took time out from looting and pillaging and instead trained, maintained their equipment, did a bit of socialising and probably a bit of thinking while they relaxed. I'm never into looting and pillaging but I have a home to maintain, things to learn and a social life to pursue.
I still feel much more lethargic than in summer. I sometimes look at cold drizzly days and long for June. So many things need to be done! However, so far, I think the hibernaculum project is a success. I think that I may even be enjoying the winter.
Other people also come to Normanby. It's on The Viking Way (a long distance footpath) and the church is open every day. There are bottles of spring water provided for walkers to take if they need it.
This Sunday I sat in a pew but for the next few months I shall be in the vicar's stall. They always make me very welcome at Normanby.
Like many old churches Normanby has a few "gems". Somebody's toothache was recorded for posterity!
O Almighty God, who through Jesus Christ gave Saint Peter many excellent gifts, and commanded him to feed your flock: help all ministers preach your holy word truly and all your people to follow it; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
As a child I used to long for snowy days. I don't remember our school ever being closed because of bad weather. We weren't allowed to play snowballs in the playground but sometimes we could build snowmen. The school rule was that we had to have indoor shoes whatever the weather, so our wet shoes would be abandoned in the cloakroom. The minimum heating would be 60F or 15.6C which would be reckoned as rather cold today.
The first winter I lived in Caistor (2010/11) we had very heavy snow and delivery services didn't come into our little cul de sac. I had lived in a village which had problems every time we had snow, so I have always had a good pantry, but after three weeks the menu had become "unusual". Even today I have a very good supply of tinned food and a picnic stove in case we have power cuts. I would hate to have to open the freezer and let the cold air out!
But sometimes things are better planned than that. At the end of this month my friend E is going on an eleven week cruise so I will be on duty quite a few Sundays. E is also a volunteer: she was a divisional highways engineer in her "working" life but is now almost full time in ministry. When she's away I step into the breach for quite a lot of the worship leadership and pastoral care.
I will not be alone. This group of churches has a newly accredited lay minister who will be sharing services with me.
And no minister is ever alone. The One in whose name we minister is always alongside us
One of the things those Roman soldiers of old did in their hibernaculum was to train. My equivalent is to learn.
The first was on odes by Keats. I've got to admit that my knowledge of Keats doesn't go much beyond "Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness". I can't say I will be buying myself a new book of poems as a result of listening to this talk but I certainly feel more interested and may check out a few more writings by Keats.
December is not a good month to be a maulifuff but if you managed it, have a gold star. For myself, I am quite proud of how little I achieved, but I have no partner, children or grandchildren. I took a couple of services though which reduces my maulifuffing score which I am far too lazy to calculate anyway. By the way, if there are men in your life, I have discovered they can be maulibums (or so Susie Dent from Dictionary Corner says).
January is a month which can make or break us. New Year resolutions and all that. For maulifuffs it is fine to make them, better to break 'em.
*If you haven't a clue what I am on about you may like to know that maulifuff is an old Scottish word for a woman devoid of energy, who would happily do nothing for hours on end.
Each
year at Epiphany I take down my Christmas wreath and chalk the door. That
isn't easy on a modern UPVC door so I have a chalk label for the purpose.
On it I have written 20 C + M + B 26 in honour of all who seek Christ wherever
he is to be found. And I pray Christus Mansionem Benedicat (May Christ
bless this house) using the traditional initials in a different way.
After a few days away it's lovely to come back to my own home. Holly Dog makes me very welcome but I still like my hibernaculum best.
Today is the day I take down the Christmas decorations and reclaim normality for my home. It's lovely when they first go up and it's lovely when they first go down. The door wreath will stay until tomorrow to be taken down when I chalk the door for 2026.
The weather doesn't look encouraging for trips out but I have brilliant stores and have no intention of going anywhere.
I've got books (especially audiobooks), lots of knitting wool, lovely things to do.
How's the hibernaculum? It's great!
I trained for ministry on a course which was run not just by The Church of England but the United Reformed and Methodist churches too, and we shared in the glories of all three traditions At the beginning of each year we used this prayer from the Methodist Covenant Service. I still use it now.
I think it could be beech!
This month she's got in very early, as G (her regular human) has gone on her travels just for three nights. So, I reported for duty yesterday, armed with the required "dietary supplements" (chicken etc). I also brought the heated throw so maybe I will get the odd Brownie point. I can but live in hope. Holly has her standards.
I've taken my first photo of the tree. I think it is beech but I'm not sure - at the moment I can't get close enough to se the bark. I'll do better next time.
