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06 October 2026

Cousins

I was born richly blessed with cousins.  I had twenty seven of them.  Some we rarely saw, some were part of our regular social set-up.

Cousins are less close than siblings (I had one sister) but they were still family.  They knew which aunt always had a full cake tin and didn’t mind if it was empty once we had been.  They sympathised about the uncle who told dreadful jokes.  I spent many a glorious afternoon with one or another of my cousins getting up to things our parents wouldn’t have approved of and then going home.  Bliss

Then we grew up.  Cousins scattered across the country. Some married.  Years passed.  To be honest, I saw them very little during my working life.  Just the occasional funeral. 

But retirement is different.  I suspect that as a single woman with no siblings, my cousins are more important to me than they are to many people.  Several have died, with some it's just Christmas cards, but I still see about eight of them fairly often.  And they are the people I rely on most.

One cousin had four daughters and between them they can usually respond to emergencies.  Two cousins live here in Caistor.  One now lives in France but we still have long, hilarious phone calls.  One was widowed and appreciates my help in creating a new life for herself.  Another keeps an eye on me for DIY needs and he’s recently helped me change my car. 

But no matter what the spoken reason is for meeting up, we always have a wonderful “do you remember?” time.  We remember the people who have gone.  We remember the picnics, the Christmases, the family rows and the family jokes.

So here's to cousins.  They may not be the people we see most often.  But when we do meet, the years seem to fall away.  And for a little while, we're children again.

 

12 comments:

  1. Until I was 8 I was an only child. My cousin Gill, also without siblings, was like a sister to me. She died 5 years ago, and I still miss her so much. Her son has no close relatives now, but he calls me his auntie-mum, and t grandchildren have adopted him as a sort of uncle. In in 1965 I had 20 cousins in the UK. Now I have 10 in Australia who I never see, and 5 left here in the UK. My brother and I are the youngest of this generation. But we share happy memories whenever we meet.

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    1. I remember you posting about Gill and know you were very close. You must miss her a lot and it's great that you have such a good relationship with her son. (My sister was also Gill - well, Gillian really.

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  2. Christmas with all the (English) aunts and uncles and cousins were The Best! Sadly we almost never saw the Dutch side, my mother's side of the family.

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    1. Yes, it's Christmases I remember most. We had mum's family with is at lunchtime, then a break before my father's family came at night.

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  3. I loved to watch my daughters with their cousins, school summer holidays were spent together at my mum's house.

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    1. It's very special isn't it. Sometimes we forget that cousins were (probably) our first childhood friends.

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  4. My mum and dad were both only children so I never had the pleasure of cousins and my sister was not born until I was seven. My maternal gran was one of nine so we looked on her brother's and sisters as uncle and aunts although they lived in another county and we did not see them too often.

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    1. They're still special. I too have a few second cousins with whom I keeo contact. I'm meeting with one this Thursday.

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  5. With 5 siblings to keep up with, cousins don't factor into the equation for me. I think my older sister and oldest brother try to maintain some cousin contact. There are quite a bunch - my parents came from big families.

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    1. you had a lot of siblings - not surprised that cousins aren't as important to you as they are for me.

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  6. I am blessed with 75 cousins on both sides of my family. All have children who also have children, we don't get together often but we try to stay in touch via Facebook and the occasional reunion. The reason for so many is that my Dad came from a family of 16 children. Mom was only one of four.

    God bless.

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